


a fresh ornament, a gem

by catterhey



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, First Meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 21:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catterhey/pseuds/catterhey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been seven months since Gretchen. She didn’t miss Gretchen really anymore, but she did miss having a partner, and the laughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a fresh ornament, a gem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kattahj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattahj/gifts).



It had been seven months since Gretchen. She didn’t miss Gretchen really anymore, but she did miss having a partner, and the laughter.

The first time Lena saw Stef she couldn’t help but think, _beautiful_. Sitting outside in the sunshine, car keys twisting around in her hands, Stef greeted her with a small laugh and a self-deprecating smile, and Lena had to double take because she was bright and gorgeous and-

Most likely straight.

Lena had loved her fair share of straight women, including her best friend in high school. And there had been that professor, married, at the Teacher’s College when she’d been studying for her masters in education. She knew those crushes led nowhere, or else nowhere good. But now, looking at Stef, she couldn’t tamp down the small part of her mind that wanted to hope.

Which was completely stupid of course. But she couldn’t help but steal glances at Stef as she led her around the building, taking in her posture, the way her shoulders seemed to carry the weight of her walk, the way she cocked her head, just a bit to the side, when she listened to Lena explain about the Spanish pilot program. And when she said, “Call me Stef” even though it seemed to stem from a well of pure friendliness, Lena felt warm. Though Stef generally didn’t seem like the type to stand on ceremony. The strength and purpose in the way she moved was frankly sexy and - she shut down that thought straight away. _Pull yourself together_.

Stef was married and had a son - Brandon - who was going to attend kindergarten here if Lena did her job right. Although Stef’s awkwardness on the subject of her husband had her wondering despite herself.

Too soon Lena was walking Stef back to the school parking lot.

“Thank you for the, ah, tour,” she said and held out her hand, steady, but Lena noticed her face was slightly flushed. Could have been the heat, but-

“Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Stef’s hand dropped to her side. There was a moment of stunned silence, and Lena closed her eyes, about to say something, anything, when Stef spoke.

“Like a- like a date?”

Lena opened her eyes. Stef was blushing furiously, but she wasn’t running screaming in the other direction.

“Yes,” she said, her gaze calm.

“Oh.” A slight pause before she added in a rush, “I mean- yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

Lena laughed. “Oh, wow, I thought for a second-“

“That I was gonna run screaming back to my car?” She smirked, amused, and Lena had to catch her breath.

“Yes.” Her smile was wide and relieved. “So, coffee? How about Saturday? I know a place.”

“I’ll drop Brandon off at-” Stef hesitated, “at his grandad’s house.”

“I’ve got your number. I’ll call you with the details.”

That seemed to startle her for a second. “Right. Yes you do.” Then she gathered herself with a sheepish grin, “I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Nice meeting you Stef,” Lena said, and tried not to cringe. Since when had she become so- awkward?

“See you, Lena.” She mangled her name just a little bit, pronouncing it more “Lehna” than “Leena” but, then again, Lena thought giddily, they’d have the time to remedy that.

*

Lena waited for fifteen minutes before Stef showed up, looking harried. She spotted her at a table in the back and made her way over in an unbroken line, skillfully dodging stray tables, handbags and jackets before she dumped herself on the chair in front of her.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine,” Lena said and any annoyance she might have felt dissipated at the sight of her. She’d had her share of second thoughts and worries since they’d spoken on the phone, among them “What did you think you were doing?” and “Did you seriously ask a married woman out on a date?” But looking at Stef, Lena didn’t find she wanted to say any of those things.

“Shall I order us some coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Stef had a positively hungry look in her eyes, one that Lena recognized only too well.

“Coffee fiend?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you how much I drink.”

Lena leaned back in her chair with a grin. “Try me. I spent most of college in a caffeine-induced blur.”

Stef smile was brief, before her features settled in an intent sort of frown. “I wanted to- clear the air.” She looked at her expectantly.

“Sure.”

Stef took a breath. “You might have guessed this, but I just wanted to make sure you knew: my husband and I are separated.”

“Good. I mean, not good but-“ Lena stopped talking with a wince.

“I know.” Her mouth pinched in a worried line. “I also wanted to be upfront about this, and I don’t know if this is a deal breaker for you - but I’ve never dated a woman before.”

Lena was surprised at how little she cared. “It’s not a deal breaker,” she said. The smile she received was relieved, and hopeful and dazzling, and years later Lena would think back to that second in that coffee shop as the moment she realized she would do anything to see that smile again and make it last.

  
*

Lena had fought hard to get where she was. She was, after all, openly queer. She'd thought once that the hardest thing she would ever do was come out to her parents. She knew she'd been lucky on that score. But it was Gretchen, out and proud, unapologetic and fearlessly unique, who had finally opened her eyes to the reality. Coming out was an endless choice, one that would accompany her for the rest of her life- and choosing to be out was both the toughest and easiest way to live.

Her mother had disagreed.

“The decks are already stacked against you, Lena, though of course not as much as they were for me.” She’d said, fingers brushing against her cheek. “I just don’t want you to make things harder for yourself. Whose business is it except yours anyway?”

Lena had tried very hard not to pull away. But she’d said, “In a perfect world, it would be just my business. But think about it. The truth will come out, when I bring my partner to dinners, when we’re walking together on the street, when I - have a family. It’s better to be honest about these things from the start. You know how bigoted people are, and the fallout… I work in education, mother.”

“Your partner? You know what I think about Gretchen, Lena.”

“I’m not talking about Gretchen!”

Her mother had looked at her, pointedly, in that silent way she had that was both chastising and snobby all at once. So Lena had thought about being out, about the kind of partner she wanted. Two weeks after that conversation she’d broken up with Gretchen and decided to come out to her boss.

Stef never liked to say much about her orientation in concrete terms. Lena had guessed, from Stef’s formal, slightly clipped “My dad’s very religious” and the cross around her neck that she didn't wear to bed that there was more to her reluctance than just the fact that she was police. She wanted to think she understood why Stef didn’t say “lesbian”, despite the way she lingered over her breasts in bed, knowing how much she liked it, the way she’d taken to flirting with her at dangerously inappropriate times. Stef was cheeky and fun and brave - except when it came to this.

Lena looked at Stef and tried hard to understand her fear. But the more time passed, the more Lena wanted her to say it. The silence gnawed at her until one day she thought, "Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not what you want."

And didn't realise she spoke it out loud.

*

"I told my dad, I told everyone. I want to be with you. I even used the word lesbian."

Lena is proud, proud of Stef, proud of them, and doesn't stop the tears in her eyes, doesn't want to. Stef chose her. Stef loves her.

"You had me at lesbian," she blurts, and laughs a bit through her tears.

And later she will think, this is the woman of my life. She will say, move in with me, and will casually mention that she'd always wanted to adopt. She will take her to bed and they will have the best sex they've ever had, and Lena will whisper, "You're mine" into Stef's skin.

But for now, holding Stef in her arms is more than enough.


End file.
